Proust inspired interview of Adelle Waldman
What became of your childhood dreams ?
They evolved. When I was six years old, I wanted to be a fireman. When I was a little older, I wanted to have a daughter named «Apple. » Now I don’t want either of those things.
What is your greatest (or worst) addiction ?
Alcohol, definitely. It’s even harder for me to manage than cigarettes, which I loved but I gave up. Now I smoke only rarely, and I enjoy it more than I did when I smoked half-a-pack a day. But I do love to drink—wine, especially, but also whiskey, martinis. Mostly it’s fine, but sometimes I drink too much, especially with certain people whom I have fun drinking or at parties in which I may be anxious or a little bored or both. And as I get older, even two glasses of wine will affect me the next day.
What is your favourite swear word ?
Fuck.
Which word do you hate most, and why ?
Perspire. I think people should say « sweat. » I hate these sorts of trying to be fancy euphemism, like when people refer to their « home» in contexts where they really should say « house. » It’s pretentious, and in the case of « perspire, » it is grosser than the word it is aiming to avoid.
If you were a figure of speech, which one would you be ?
A mock-heroic simile.
Which side of your personality do you keep hidden at first, and why ?
I don’t keep much hidden—but I often wish I did. I often regret being too candid, unnecessarily sincere. Afterward I feel exposed and wish I had presented myself in a generally truthful but more polished light instead of trying to convey to a new acquaintance the exact literal truth, down to every last embarrassing nuance.
What would be your ideal literary encounter (book, author, reader, etc) ?
I’d watch Jane Austen debate Phillip Roth about romance.
What guilty reading pleasure do you indulge in ?
When I run, I listen to mystery novels on audiobook.
Which writer will you never read ?
I’m not sure if there’s anyone I can say with certainty I will never read. I often change my mind.
Which sound or noise do you enjoy most ?
The silence after the children who live upstairs from me have gone down for a nap or left their apartment for school or a play date.
How would you describe your book collection in one word ?
Alphabetical.
What would your ideal epitaph be ?
I’d like to be cremated, so I don’t think I get an epitaph. Otherwise it would be simple—i.e., beloved daughter, sister, wife (and mother of my kids if I have any). I’m not sure my epitaph is where I’d want to get fancy or creative.
